I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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