The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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