Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
