Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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