My first STD was from a foam party
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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