You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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