Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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