Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
