I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize