So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)