Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I painted my nails silver

  (586): View more from Michigan

  And what are the implications of that?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien

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  (313): I painted my nails silver (586): And what are the implications of that? (313): Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien http://tfl.nu/iy32
  Replies (3) Good night (2216) Bad night (761)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You're completely useless in the revolution.

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  (817): You're completely useless in the revolution. http://tfl.nu/br33
  Replies (7) Good night (1266) Bad night (716)
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  (909): View more from California

  It must have been true love

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other

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  (909): It must have been true love (604): I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other http://tfl.nu/pjnl
  Replies (20) Good night (2930) Bad night (1295)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.

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  (540): This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster. http://tfl.nu/5per
  Replies (16) Good night (738) Bad night (2804)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair

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  (409): nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair http://tfl.nu/hpi9
  Replies (26) Good night (642) Bad night (4488)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.

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  (620): We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example. http://tfl.nu/aei8
  Replies (23) Good night (6011) Bad night (868)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.

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  (724): I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8v08
  Replies (16) Good night (5612) Bad night (1690)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?

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  (218): Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'? http://tfl.nu/wgpy
  Replies (15) Good night (1772) Bad night (4926)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.

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  (951): We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question. http://tfl.nu/23so
  Replies (13) Good night (2020) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.

  (1+44): View more from

  Doesn't she keep a spare?

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.

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  (+44): You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys. (1+44): Doesn't she keep a spare? (+44): Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans. http://tfl.nu/5sic
  Replies (7) Good night (3023) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.

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  (617): Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now. http://tfl.nu/mmi9
  Replies (1) Good night (1429) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?

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  (608): Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad? http://tfl.nu/ac75
  Replies (4) Good night (893) Bad night (2416)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!

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  (832): DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!! http://tfl.nu/pv1p
  Replies (1) Good night (347) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."

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  (647): Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club." http://tfl.nu/exip
  Replies (4) Good night (317) Bad night (193)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude

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  (219): He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude http://tfl.nu/vgk9
  Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (157)

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