If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo