Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth http://tfl.nu/hcb6
  Replies (19) Good night (3892) Bad night (1149)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life http://tfl.nu/wcmr
  Replies (12) Good night (6051) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): 10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza http://tfl.nu/0z5o
  Replies (35) Good night (7380) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet. http://tfl.nu/z51s
  Replies (15) Good night (7856) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning. http://tfl.nu/u08e
  Replies (7) Good night (3390) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk http://tfl.nu/rn5q
  Replies (4) Good night (2578) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool. http://tfl.nu/xgys
  Replies (3) Good night (2353) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY. http://tfl.nu/d6x2
  Replies (6) Good night (1393) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me. http://tfl.nu/u7k0
  Replies (7) Good night (1588) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs? http://tfl.nu/7n3l
  Replies (8) Good night (1655) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home http://tfl.nu/e4lh
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits http://tfl.nu/sxpe
  Replies (7) Good night (1766) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids. http://tfl.nu/j5zx
  Replies (0) Good night (983) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway http://tfl.nu/794f
  Replies (5) Good night (1192) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now. http://tfl.nu/rhwt
  Replies (12) Good night (330) Bad night (719)

Randomize