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• (415): View more from California

  my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"

  (650): View more from California

  LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me

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• (914): View more from New York

  ____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...

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• (435): View more from Utah

  I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker

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• (407): View more from Florida

  If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.

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• (735): View more from

  I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit

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• (750): View more from

  I vomited out my contact lenses last night

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