all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
