You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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