Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I want to be your penis for a week.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
