I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
