This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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