I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
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Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
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He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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