Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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