Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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