Your tits are I can't wait for
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
