Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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