hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
