if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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