wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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