gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
