I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
