after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
