I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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