More tranny stories later!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
