we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
