i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
