We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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