whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
