People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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