my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
