reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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