your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
