my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.