The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
worst night to have a conscience
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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