I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died