dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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