I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
NoShamevember. You game?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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