Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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