I want to make a zoo with you.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.