Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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