Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
