It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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