Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i will never coherently bang her
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
