Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
