i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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