I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
