Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize