I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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