he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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