Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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