Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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