...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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