so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
