The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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