I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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