Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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