It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Terrible idea I love it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
