I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
