why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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