Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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