Don't you send me to vm
Porn is love you can see.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
