You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
