He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How does one acquire holy water?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
